When Their Addiction Becomes Your Anxiety
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When Their Addiction Becomes Your Anxiety
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it's easy to start living in reaction to their chaos. You feel their highs, you absorb their lows, and without realizing it, their recovery (or relapse) becomes the measure of your peace.
If your stomach drops every time your phone buzzes, if you find yourself obsessively checking their location, if you're losing sleep while they claim to be "fine" — you may be experiencing secondhand addiction anxiety.
At Today’s Sober Women, we see this all the time. You’re not alone. And you’re not crazy.
Codependency Disguised as Love
You might tell yourself: "I'm just being supportive," or "I'm strong enough to carry this for both of us." But when your emotional, physical, or financial well-being hinges on someone else's sobriety, you're no longer helping. You're drowning.
This doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. Addiction affects families, not just individuals. But there is a way to climb out of the chaos.
What You Can Do
- Name it without shame. It’s okay to admit that your loved one’s behavior has taken over your emotional landscape.
- Focus on what you can control. You can’t make someone stay sober—but you can protect your energy.
- Limit your reactivity. Not every text needs a reply. Not every absence means relapse. Breathe. Then respond.
- Start your own recovery journey. You may not drink—but you still might need healing.
You matter, too. The more you care for yourself, the more clearly you can support them—without getting lost in the process.