Making Sober Look Good: Why We Started Saying It Out Loud

By Bridget Garrelts, LCPC – Co-Founder, Today’s Sober Women

I didn’t set out to create a slogan.

I set out to help women who were hurting.

In my work as a therapist and co-founder of Today’s Sober Women, I sit with women who are doing the brave work of changing their lives: putting down alcohol, healing from trauma, learning to feel their feelings without numbing out. They’re doing some of the hardest emotional work a person can do.

And yet, many of them still feel like they have to hide their sobriety.

They whisper it. They apologize for it. They worry more about what others might think than about how far they’ve actually come.

That tension—the courage of recovery and the shame wrapped around it—is exactly where “Making Sober Look Good” was born.

It’s not just a cute line for a sweatshirt.
It’s a response to stigma.
It’s a way of saying: You have nothing to hide. Sobriety looks good on you.

The Reality Women Are Living In

Let’s start with the bigger picture.

According to the most recent National Survey on Drug Use and Health from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), about 48.4 million people in the U.S. ages 12 and older met criteria for a Substance Use Disorder (SUD) in the past year. That’s about 1 in 6 people.

A Substance Use Disorder is the clinical term used when someone’s relationship with alcohol or drugs is harming their health or their life. It doesn’t mean you’re “bad.” It means your brain and body have developed a pattern that needs care, support, and sometimes medical treatment.

Now here’s the painful part:
Out of all those people living with a substance use disorder, only about 1 in 5 received any kind of treatment. And only a tiny fraction of people with alcohol-related disorders ever received evidence-based care, like medications that are proven to help with Alcohol Use Disorder.

If we were talking about diabetes, and only 1 in 5 people were getting care, we would call that a national emergency. The CDC estimates that diabetes affects about 38.4 million people in the U.S.—roughly 11.6% of the population—and we pour billions of dollars and tons of energy into treating and preventing it.

But with addiction?
People are still expected to suffer in silence.

Why?
A big reason is stigma.

What Stigma Really Is (And Why It Hurts So Much)

“Stigma” gets thrown around a lot, so I want to slow down and explain what I mean.

In simple terms, stigma is what happens when a group of people are labeled, judged, or pushed to the margins because of something they live with—like addiction, mental illness, or a health condition.

Researchers describe stigma as a mix of:

• Stereotypes – the assumptions people make (“addicts are weak,” “people who drink too much don’t care about their families”)
• Prejudice – the negative feelings those stereotypes create (fear, disgust, blame)
• Discrimination – the actions that follow (rejecting someone, denying opportunities, shaming them)

Stigma doesn’t just live “out there” in society. It gets internalized—meaning you start to believe those judgments about yourself:

• “If I really needed help, I must be broken.”
• “If I can’t control my drinking, I’m a bad mom.”
• “If I go to treatment, people will think I’ve failed.”

Studies show that stigma leads to worse health outcomes, less treatment, more shame, and more isolation for people with substance use disorders—and even affects how providers, policymakers, and systems respond to them.

I see this every day in the therapy room.

How Our Words Shape Recovery

In my work as a therapist, I’ve learned that the words we use about addiction can feel heavier than the addiction itself.

A single phrase—addict, alcoholic, clean, dirty, relapse, failure—can shape the entire way you see your story. And when you’ve already lived through trauma, loss, shame, or years of feeling “not enough,” language becomes deeply personal. It lands in the body. It affects your confidence. It influences whether you reach for support—or hide.

If you’ve ever felt a word hit you like a punch in the gut, you already know how powerful language can be.

The research backs this up. Experts have shown over and over that the way we talk about substance use disorders directly affects whether people seek help, how they’re treated, and even whether they receive adequate medical care.

For years, even the medical system used terms like “substance abuse” and “dependence.” Those words carry a lot of judgment—abuse, dependence, failure, weakness. When the main diagnostic manual for mental health (the DSM, or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) was updated, those old terms were replaced by Substance Use Disorder to reflect what we now know:

Addiction is a chronic health condition that deserves treatment and compassion—not a moral failing.

That’s what I mean when I say: addiction is medical, not moral.

A quick plain-language decode:

• Substance Use Disorder (SUD): A medical diagnosis used when someone’s alcohol or drug use is causing significant problems in their health, relationships, work, or safety.
• Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD): Same idea, but specific to alcohol.
• Evidence-based treatment: Approaches that have been tested in studies and shown to actually help (like certain medications, therapies, or programs).

When we use person-first language—like “a woman living with a substance use disorder” instead of “an addict”—we remind ourselves that we’re talking about a whole person, not just a label.

A recent article in Psychology Today on addiction stigma makes this point clearly: our words can either keep shame in place or help dismantle it. It also notes that this is especially important in a world where artificial intelligence is being trained on our language—if we keep using shaming phrases, the systems we build may start to mirror those biases back at us.

That’s one more reason I care deeply about how we talk about recovery, both in person and online.

What “Making Sober Look Good” Is Really About

So where does our phrase come in?

“Making Sober Look Good” is my answer—as a therapist, a co-founder, and a woman who walks alongside other women in recovery—to all of that stigma.

It’s my way of saying:

• Sobriety is not something you have to explain away.
• Sobriety is not second-best.
• Sobriety is not a punishment.

Sobriety is strength.
Sobriety is clarity.
Sobriety is the quiet confidence of building a life you don’t have to escape from.

Women tell me all the time:

“I’m proud of my sobriety, but I don’t want anyone to think less of me if they find out.”
“I feel awkward being the only one not drinking—like I’m the weird one.”
“If people knew the whole story, they’d see me differently.”

“Making Sober Look Good” is a direct reply to that shame.

It’s a way of reclaiming the narrative—of saying, Actually, my recovery is something beautiful. It makes me stronger, kinder, clearer, more present. It looks good on me.

And yes, we put it on sweatshirts and products—because sometimes having something visible and tangible reminds your brain of what your heart is still learning:

You are not less because you’re sober. You are becoming more.

Bringing This to Life at Today’s Sober Women

At Today’s Sober Women, “Making Sober Look Good” is more than a design. It shows up in:

• Our Help Texts – Short, therapist-crafted messages that land on your phone 2–3 times a week, reminding you that you’re not alone and that your recovery is worth protecting.
• Our language – We intentionally avoid shaming phrases and instead use words that honor your agency, your pain, and your progress.
• Our community – Whether you identify as faith-based, spiritual, or just “trying to heal,” we want you to feel seen, not judged.
• Our products – From sweatshirts to journals, we design things that help you wear your story with pride and surround yourself with reminders of how far you’ve come.

The research on stigma says that changing how we talk about substance use can move mountains—shifting culture, treatment, and policy over time.

I believe everyday women can help do that work, simply by:

• Choosing kinder words about themselves and others
• Owning their sobriety instead of hiding it
• Showing that recovery can look like joy, laughter, style, and strength

That’s what “Making Sober Look Good” is all about.

If You’re a Woman in Recovery Reading This

If you’re reading this and thinking:

“I’m not sure sobriety looks good on me yet…”

I want you to know: you’re not behind.

Making Sober Look Good doesn’t mean:

• You never struggle
• You never miss alcohol
• You never have hard days

It means you keep choosing health over hiding, truth over pretending, and healing over numbing, one day at a time. It means you’re doing the quiet, unseen work that actually changes your life.

You are allowed to feel proud of that.
You are allowed to wear it on your sleeve—literally and figuratively.

Whether you’re on day 1, day 100, or year 10, sobriety looks good on you because you are good, worthy, and lovable—exactly as you are, without alcohol.

And if you ever need a reminder, that’s why we’re here.