Five Holiday Emotional Sobriety Practices

Staying sober during the holidays is one kind of hard.

Staying emotionally sober—steady on the inside while everything around you is loud, nostalgic, and complicated—is another.

Holidays often bring more stress, financial pressure, family conflict, grief, and loneliness. All of that can push people in recovery closer to relapse.

Emotional sobriety doesn’t mean you float through December with perfect serenity. It means you learn simple ways to care for your nervous system, your heart, and your boundaries so you don’t have to use alcohol to survive the season.

Here are five practices to help.

1. Name What You’re Feeling (Without Judging It)

A lot of us learned to shove feelings down or label them as “too much.”

“I’m being dramatic.”
“I should be over this.”
“Other people have it worse. I need to suck it up.”

Here’s the thing: your brain and body don’t calm down because you shame them. They calm down when you feel seen.

Instead of, “I’m being ridiculous,” try:

• “Right now I feel… (sad, tense, lonely, angry, overwhelmed).”
• “It makes sense that I feel this way because…”
• “I don’t have to fix this feeling; I just have to care for myself in it.”

You’re not being dramatic. You’re being honest. And honesty is emotional sobriety.

2. Make a Boundaries Plan Before the Event

Most of us get into trouble when we tell ourselves, “I’ll just figure it out when I get there.”

Planning how you’ll handle predictable stressors before you walk into them makes a huge difference.

Take five minutes and ask yourself:

• How long do I want to stay?
  (Not how long everyone else thinks you should stay.)
• Who feels safest to sit near or ride with?
• What will I say if someone pushes alcohol?
  A simple, “I’m good with what I have, thanks,” is enough.
• What’s my exit plan if things go sideways?
  (Drive yourself, have a rideshare app ready, or pre-agree with a friend that you can leave when you need to.)

Write this down or text it to someone who supports your recovery.

A boundaries plan isn’t about being antisocial. It’s about giving yourself structure so you don’t have to make high-stakes decisions in the middle of high-stress moments.

3. Protect Your Basics: Sleep, Food, Movement, and Support

Holidays love to blow up routines.

You stay up later. You skip meals or binge. You cancel therapy because “it’s busy.” You miss meetings because you’re traveling. Suddenly your mood is tanking, your anxiety is spiking, and cravings feel louder than ever.

So while it’s not going to be perfect, try to protect the basics:

• Eat regularly so your blood sugar isn’t all over the place.
• Aim for consistent sleep as often as you can.
• Move your body—a walk, stretching, or a quick kitchen dance totally counts.
• Keep meetings and therapy on your schedule whenever possible.
• Stick with your recovery support: texts, calls, devotionals, journaling, prayer.

These “boring” choices are actually powerful. They stabilize your nervous system so emotions don’t feel so unbearable.

4. Create One Small “Sober Tradition”

When you remove alcohol from the holidays, it can feel like everything is about what you don’t get to have.

No champagne toast.
No mulled wine.
No “just one” with the family.

Instead of only focusing on what’s missing, add something new that is for you.

Ideas:

• A morning gratitude list on the big days.
• Lighting a candle for someone you miss and saying a simple prayer.
• Watching a favorite movie in cozy pajamas with tea or hot chocolate.
• Bringing your own non-alcoholic drink so your hands aren’t empty.
• Volunteering for a shift somewhere that matters to you.

You’re allowed to create rituals that center your healing—not just everyone else’s expectations.

5. Reach Out Before, During, and After

You do not have to white-knuckle your way through the season alone.

You don’t have to wait until you’re on the edge. You can:

• Before: Call or text someone in recovery on your way to an event. Let them know where you’re going and how you’re feeling about it.
• During: Step outside, go to the bathroom, or sit in your car to send a “Hey, this is hard” text or make a quick call.
• After: Debrief with someone safe, or write it out, so you’re not alone with the emotional hangover.

And if things do start to feel like too much, remember there is 24/7 help available in the U.S. through resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and other mental health hotlines.

Reaching out isn’t a sign that you’re failing at recovery. It’s a sign that you’re using recovery.

When the Season Feels Loud

Emotional sobriety doesn’t mean you’re cheerful, unbothered, or “fixed.”

It means you stay honest, connected, and gentle with yourself—even when the holidays are messy, sad, or just plain exhausting.

If this season feels loud, remember:

Choosing your peace over other people’s expectations is not selfish.

It’s sober.

And it’s brave. 🫶