When Recovery Feels Like Too Much—How to Manage Your Own Stress

Supporting someone in recovery is a full-time job in itself. Between emotional ups and downs, the weight of their journey, and the constant shifts in your own life, it’s easy to feel drained, overwhelmed, or even burned out. Here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

To truly help your loved one, you need to take care of you. Stress is a natural part of the journey, and it doesn’t have to take over your life. Here are some ways to manage the stress that comes with loving someone in recovery.

 

1. Acknowledge Your Stress

The first step to managing stress is recognizing it. It’s easy to push your emotions aside, especially when you’re focused on someone else’s needs. Your feelings matter too. Allow yourself to feel the weight of what you’re carrying.

Say to yourself:
 “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, and that’s okay. It’s okay to not have all the answers.”

 

2. Set Realistic Expectations

You cannot control someone’s recovery—only your response to it. Expecting perfection from your loved one or from yourself can lead to constant frustration. Focus on small steps and celebrate progress, no matter how minor it may seem.

Remind yourself:
 “Progress, not perfection. Every small step is still a step forward.”

 

3. Take Breaks When You Need To

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Step away when you need to recharge. Whether it’s taking a walk, reading, or having a quiet cup of coffee, time for yourself helps you reset and recharge your emotional batteries.

Try:
Setting aside “me-time” every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes.

 

4. Seek Support for Yourself

It can be incredibly isolating when you’re the only one trying to hold things together. Consider joining a support group for family members of people in recovery, or seek out therapy to have a safe space to process your emotions.

Remember:
“You don’t have to do this alone.”

 

 

5. Create Healthy Boundaries

As we discussed in a previous post, setting boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do. It’s not about pushing someone away—it’s about protecting yourself so you can continue to offer support without losing yourself.

Be mindful of:
When you need a break or space to protect your own emotional health.

 

6. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control your loved one’s recovery, you can control how you respond. Focus on your own actions, reactions, and decisions. Take charge of what’s within your power, and let go of what isn’t.

Ask yourself:
“What can I do right now that will help me feel more grounded?”

 

 

7. Stay Connected to Your Own Joys

In the midst of supporting your loved one, it’s easy to forget your own passions and interests. Reconnect with hobbies, friends, and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment outside of the recovery process.

Say to yourself:
“I deserve joy and peace, too.”

 

8. Celebrate Small Wins

Just as you encourage your loved one to celebrate their milestones, take time to celebrate your own victories—whether it’s a tough conversation you handled well, or simply making it through a difficult week.

Remind yourself:
“Every day that I make it through is a win.”

 

9. Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion is key. When things feel overwhelming, give yourself grace. Remember, you’re doing the best you can with what you have. And that’s enough.

Practice:
Positive self-talk, like, “I am doing my best, and that’s more than enough.”

 

10. Remember: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Recovery is a long, winding road. There will be good days and bad days, highs and lows. It’s the journey you’re on together—and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. You don’t have to have all the answers, you do have the strength to keep moving forward.

Remember:
“Slow and steady wins the race.”

 

If you love someone in recovery…

Please share these resources with them if you think it could help. And if you feel led, consider supporting Today’s Sober Women with a gift. Every dollar goes to support and encourage a woman on her sobriety journey. We provide everything from support groups, digital resources, and weekly text messages to help women stay on the sober track.

Taking care of yourself is one of the most powerful ways you can support your loved one. You matter, too.