The Ninth Step Promises and a Different Kind of New Year Resolution
New year energy can be motivating… and also a little brutal.
New goals. New routines. “This time I’ll do it right.”
If you’re a woman in recovery, you may already know that pressure doesn’t always help. Sometimes it’s the fastest way back to shame. And shame is not a recovery plan.
So for 2026, I want to offer a different approach—one that’s less about becoming a “new you” and more about continuing the woman you’re already becoming.
That’s where the Ninth Step Promises can be so comforting.
What are the Ninth Step Promises?
If you’ve been around 12-step recovery, you’ve probably heard someone say, “The promises come true.” If you’re new—or you’re not in AA at all—here’s the simplest explanation:
The Ninth Step Promises are a famous paragraph in AA’s Big Book (Chapter 6, “Into Action”) describing what begins to happen inside you when you stay sober, keep doing the work, and stop living in half-truths.
Here’s a short word-for-word excerpt:
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.
What they sound like in real life
The Promises aren’t saying life becomes perfect. They’re saying you become different inside your life.
Here’s what I see the Promises look like for women as they keep going:
- The past loosens its grip. You can remember it without being swallowed by it.
- Peace shows up more often. Not constant peace—realistic peace.
- Fear shrinks. Especially fear about people, money, and “what’s coming next.”
- You feel useful again. Not because you’re performing—because you’re connected.
- Your outlook changes. The world feels less threatening, and you feel more capable.
- You learn how to handle life. Situations that used to baffle you become manageable.
- You experience a deeper kind of help. Whether you call that God, grace, or healing—something begins to carry you in ways you couldn’t force.
And if you’ve ever wondered, “Is it possible to actually like my life sober?”—that question is exactly why people cling to these Promises.
A better way to set New Year's goals
Most New Year’s goals are built on control:
- “I’m going to fix myself.”
- “I’m going to be more disciplined.”
- “I’m going to never struggle again.”
Recovery goals are different. They’re built on truth, support, and practice.
So instead of “New year, new me,” try something more sustainable:
New year… keep working it.
Because the Promises don’t come from grand announcements. They come from ordinary, repeated choices.
Here are a few recovery-shaped 2026 intentions inspired by the Promises:
- I will stay honest (especially with myself).
- I will stay connected (I won’t isolate when I’m struggling).
- I will do the next right thing (not the whole year at once).
- I will take my healing seriously (sleep, therapy, meetings, boundaries, support).
- I will let progress count (even when it’s messy).
- I will protect my sobriety like it’s my job—because it is.
“Keep working it.”
If you need a simple phrase to carry into 2026, let it be this:
Keep working it.
And here’s the part I want you to really hear:
The Ninth Step Promises do come true—not because you force them, but because you keep showing up for your recovery.
Not perfectly. Not impressively. Just honestly.
One day, you’ll look back and realize something changed.
Not everything outside you…
but something deep within you.
And that is a New Year’s goal worth keeping.
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