Cravings in Recovery: What They Really Are and How to Ride Them Out

Cravings can feel scary, overwhelming, even shameful. For many women in recovery, a craving feels like failure — “Why am I still thinking about drinking or using? Shouldn’t I be past this by now?”

But here’s the truth: cravings don’t mean you’ve failed. They don’t mean relapse is inevitable. They mean your brain and body are still healing.

The Neuroscience of Cravings

When we drank or used, our brains released large bursts of dopamine — the chemical that tells us something is rewarding. Over time, the brain learned to connect that dopamine release with specific people, places, or emotions.

Now that you’re sober, those brain pathways are still there. A smell, a song, a stressor can “light them up” and send a craving signal.

It’s not destiny. It’s just your brain firing along an old pathway that hasn’t fully rewired yet.

Trauma and Cravings

For many women, drinking or using wasn’t about the substance — it was about coping. Addiction became a way to numb trauma, escape painful memories, or manage overwhelming emotions.

That’s why cravings can be so emotionally charged. They don’t just show up when you pass a bar. They can also appear when:

• You feel lonely the way you used to before you drank
• You’re reminded of an old hurt
• You’re stressed and your body remembers “this is when we used to escape”

Cravings aren’t just about alcohol or drugs. They’re about survival patterns your body learned a long time ago.

Dreams and Cravings

Many people in recovery have vivid dreams of drinking or using. They wake up with panic, shame, or even a craving.

This doesn’t mean relapse. During REM sleep, the brain reprocesses memories, trauma, and emotions. Sometimes it “replays” old addiction patterns.

Instead of fearing these dreams, let them remind you: That’s not who I am anymore.

How DBT Helps with Cravings

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) is a type of therapy designed to help people manage overwhelming emotions without resorting to harmful behaviors. It teaches practical skills you can use in the moment when cravings hit.

Here are a few DBT tools, translated into real life:

1. Urge Surfing – Notice the craving like a wave. Tell yourself: “This is an urge. It will rise, it will peak, and it will pass.” Most cravings fade within 15–20 minutes if you don’t feed them.
2. Ground with Your Senses – Cravings pull you into the past. Grounding brings you back to the present. Try: 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste.
3. Opposite Action – If the craving tells you to isolate, do the opposite. Call a friend. Go outside. Put on music. Acting against the urge weakens its power.
4. Self-Soothing – Trauma teaches the body to expect danger. Cravings often spike when your system feels unsafe. A hot shower, holding ice, or wrapping in a blanket can help your body settle.

Hope in the Midst of Cravings

Every time you ride out a craving wave, you’re rewiring your brain. You’re teaching it: “I don’t need that anymore. I can survive this urge.”

Cravings are not proof you’re weak. They’re proof you’re still healing. And healing is never a straight line.

You are stronger than the craving. One day, one urge, one wave at a time. 🫶